"I don’t want to fall in love," he says to me two hours into our phone conversation.
"You don’t want to fall in love!?" I exclaim back to him. Who the hell doesn’t want to be in love?
"You lose power in that," he says.
I am flabbergasted. I have recently started talking, dating, with an ex of mine from the winter. He has a smile that can’t quit and his presence has come back out of nowhere. He tells me constantly how much he had missed me, how much he wanted me in his arms, and I start thinking about how it could work. Maybe could work this time.
We never had this conversation back in December when we were hot and heavy. I always avoid these conversations, knowing that most men pack it up and run out if you want to talk about any sort of future for more than 7 seconds. But I know I can’t move on without bringing this up.
And then just a few weeks later, tears are falling down my cheeks. He’s basically just broke the news to me he wants nothing that I want. Per usual. This is not new and somehow it’s been happening for five years.
I am never going to fall in love again. Never have that feeling of wanting to do anything to make that person happy. Have a partnership and a connection. I haven’t been in love since February 10, 2008 and it seems like it is never going to happen. He tells me he wishes he could hug me. Yeah, because I love when someone who has told me he doesn’t want to fall in love with me consoles me. I hang up the phone with him, disappointed and sorrowful. Another one done.
Then this morning, I wake up to this gloomy feeling thanks to Chicago’s lovely spring weather, and back to my hopes of ever finding a partnership completely crushed.
But then it came to me, time to dust off those damned Bold Moves. It may not be October, but I constantly give advice on not letting one person rule your happiness. So time to take the reins, brush that sh*t off, and move along. If this schmuck isn’t going to get it together, someone else out there will.
A first date scheduled for tonight bailed on me this afternoon. Since my night is suddenly free, it was time for some Bold Moves.
A guy, who I’ve been crushing on ever since he walked into my favorite bar back in the fall, and I have kept a conversation going for awhile. Things happened, we never met up. Time to hit him up:
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