Lip Balm Has More Than One Use

Lip balm is a cute little lip product that is more exotic than once used. You will not believe the things I used it for. Lip balm can be used on men. Lip balm is not lipstick. Men can choose a normal color and keep their lips moist. That dampness lasts for hours and keeps the lips hydrated. Moreover, your nose irritation can be cleared with some lip balm under the nose. You can also smell it to make your cold less difficult. Hey, I’m not saying you need to do that. But, sometimes the colds do not appear anywhere and you happen to have a little lip balm in the car. Use it if you have to.Moving on, lip balm can be applied on cracked skin and small cuts. Lip balm spreads on the skin and neutralizes pain. All you need to do then is cover up it and your good to go. As you can see, lip balm has many uses to help you have an emergency and beautiful lips. Buy the best lip balm for men today.

Lip Balm for shaving

Lip balm is great for shaving your facial hair with. When you shave your face, you find yourself cutting yourself. It happens all the time. The razor is too dull or you forget to put it in cold water again. Now, you can use lip balm to make those small cuts disappear. Just wipe off the blood and apply a little lip balm to the razor stains. Once you apply it, the cut area is pasted with lip balm. The glue keeps blood in the skin and prevents it from moving. Next, your white blood cells do the job trying to get cuts to heal all the way. Some people say it feels really comfortable when you do it too. I’m not sure it’s true.But, no longer bleeding and coming to work looks like you just killed someone. It does not look good that you know. Use the best lip balm for men and get your stuff straight for every shaving mistake.

Use it to hold hair in place

Most people have no idea that lip balm can be used to hold hair. I also heard this for the first time. So you can use this product to push your hair out and leave it in place. This can be useful when your hair doesn’t want to stay in place. But, who uses lip balm to hold hair? There are days when you want your hair to stay so you can look beautiful or the days when the hair is too long but you are too lazy to cut it. Now, you can use lip balm to make the hair move around less frequently. Use it on the side, front and other places where you feel the hair needs to be kept. Lip balm is quite cheap so you can expect a hair still looking cheap.

Use Lip Balm to treat eye sockets

Lip balm is also very good for treating eye socket injury. Sometimes you are sleepy. A long day out somewhere. Perhaps you spent time with a friend or playing that video game for too long. The next day, you have to go to work and there are no exceptions. The eyes do not give you happy days. Put some lip balm under your eyes. Put it all around your eye sockets and clean the makeup eye sockets and sleep. Destroy all bad dirt clogged from yesterday. By the way, when I say my eye socket means the area under your eyes. I hope you understand what I say. Overall, lip balm works really well in waking your eyes and making you feel like you’re having a good mood.

Hair Product Guide to Make Your Man Hair Straight

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No matter what type of hair you have today, you need help looking a cut above the rest. Look better than them and be better then them. Turn your hair from a hot mess to a 5 star Italian cuisine. Going to the barber shop is good for keep your hair cut and maintained. But, you could use hair products to make your hair look ever better. Give it a shine that reflects with the Sun. Reduce all the flakes out of it and make sure hair is smooth as lemons on a woman’s thighs. Very slick and tempting to touch by the on goers who look at it. We want to help your hair look its best by introducing you to different hair product types and telling you what their good for. Read what is below and use our knowledge to help you succeed further.

Try Hair Spray for Hot Days

Hair spray is not just to make your hair smell good. It can greatly increase your hair’s flexibility when you out on the beach. When your on that beautiful beach, you want to look beautiful along with it. It’s hard to do that after a couple hours. That’s when the intense Sun turns your good hair into a dry and hot mess. The salt water doesn’t make it better either. It just makes your hair look even dryer. Pay attention to the people’s hair when they get out of the shower and dry. You see what I mean right? Buy some hair spray and take it with you. Spray a little of it on hair every so often and the dry hair look that you don’t want the girls to see will be gone. Hair shines with the Sun and becomes softer. The softness increases if you use more. Buy a hair spray with a good smell. Smell is important when you spray a lot of it on your hair. By the way, you should get a small bottle of dry hair spray. In case, you want people to think you have a mint spray or cologne spray. Some people might be wondering why you need a giant bottle of hair spray at the beach. Hey, you shouldn’t worry about the size too much. But, you got to reasonable at times with the things you take with you at the beach.

Wash Hair With Hair Gel

Hair gel works better on your hair then the traditional shampoo wash. Gel has high amounts of lather which is fancy for thick soap and clean washing minerals. Hair gel provides a medium level of hold on your hair. It won’t stay in there longer then it should. It gets in and maintains hair’s natural look without the shine. Adds minerals and the right amount of moisturizer to keep hair balanced for a period of time outside. You can look good naturally. The best hair gel for men is the gel you should start with. It helps men the most by being tailored to fit men’s rough and often unwashed hair. Additionally, the men hair gel has a manly smell to it. Make the women and other men know that you’re a cut from another cloth. Sent from some strange land to do great things. Let the smell push off that aura of manliness. Hair gels come in different flavors too. You can go with sweets some days and tough guy on other days. The way you want to smell with your hair is up to you. In essence, try out hair gel and make your hair look normal and not flashy.

Lady Dates

Tonight I am going on a date with a woman. She is lovely and smart. This is not the first lady date I’ve had and certainly won’t be the last.

I haven’t talked about it all on the blog at all. (If you’ve heard me read, I’ve told the story about the first woman I dated briefly.) I never kissed a woman until I was 30 and didn’t really have much interest to until now. When I started the blog 3 years ago, I certainly wasn’t dating women. But I now want to be clear that my writing about my dating life will not only be dudes.

So I suppose the slap a label term on me is bisexual. I don’t really like this term as it implies half and half, and most of my dating and sex life has all involved men with a few exceptions. I’m a big believer in the Kinsey scale and the Idea that sexuality is fluid. I’m not making excuses, but I’m more attracted to men than I am women, but I’m exploring that some more.

I don’t see myself in a long term relationship with a woman, just like I don’t foresee long term relationships with many (well most) of the men I date. But really who knows? Love is pretty blind and I think I will probably fall in love and end up with a man, but I suppose I’m open to it.

Sexuality is an odd thing, ever changing in ones’ life. This all feels pretty new to me. People talk about knowing they’re gay at age 4. I didn’t know I was somewhat attracted to women until I turned 30.

So I asked her out and chose the date, place, and time (I take my own advice!). I’m looking forward to it, but admittedly am a bit nervous. There are all these rules for what the guy does (pays the check, opens the door) and what the girl is supposed to do (offer to pay the check and say thank you when he says no), but there are no rules for girl dates! No rules! My brain and how I think about dating is completely heterosexist.

So I plan on just having nice dinner and conversation with a smart and beautiful lady.

-Melinda

15 Rules for My Ex’s Next.

Breakups are hard. This is a known fact but sometimes you hold on for so long and try to make it work for so long that you eventually have to understand what is best for you and him. I was dating a guy for awhile on and off for a few months. During that time we worked on ourselves and each other more than we were officially together… a fact that was brought to my attention only recently. I guess it seems that when you are bailing water out of the Titanic you just keep your head down and don’t look at your watch. That said the battle is over it seems and the wine stained white flag as been thrown up above both of our doors.

I am probably the most at fault for this and I can own that. Especially when I look back on my own reactions and decisions in the relationship. That said he is a good kid that is just now dipping his toe into the gay scene and homosexual dating world (in comparison to my 14+ years in the scene not a statement of immaturity on his part.) I can only hope that the next person he decides to let into his life will treat him the best possible and give him the experience he truly deserves. Whomever that guy is I wanted to just give him a quick study on how to make him as happy as possible and be the man that I now know I could not… not for him… one day I’ll figure it out but until then I don’t want him to have to waste any time on being happy… so here it goes:

  1. Make sure he feels like he’s the only person in the room.
  2. Always have SoCo in the freezer just in case you end up pregamming at your place before going out.
  3. Don’t try and make the bed. Well try. But he will probably fix it anyway. It’s charming not weird.
  4. When he asks you how his outfit looks be honest and supportive. He’s usually on point but still trying to get used to his city fashion.
  5. Never leave him to go inside while you are both smoking. It’s ruder than you think… I just smoke really fast.
  6. Always follow through on your plans.
  7. Don’t make him ask you more than once to come over. You look like an insecure asshole.
  8. If you see any little item in a store that reminds you of him, buy it for him. Everything he owns has a story and you want to be a part of it. Trust me.
  9. Don’t rush anything.
  10. Take him on a date once a week.
  11. Don’t say “I love you” for him to say it back. He’ll get there when he’s ready.
  12. Find a quiet love for Miley Cyrus’s latest album. It means a lot to him.
  13. Always answer the phone when he calls. It’s important to him.
  14. He likes the Low Fat Chocolate Milk. I don’t understand it either but just get him one anytime you can.
  15. Don’t ever make him cry. Be there for him. Love him… and If you hurt him I’ll kill you.

JosephWilliamReese

Happy 2015! Let’s Hope I Don’t Die Alone!

Happy 2015!

I hope your New Year’s celebrations were great. I spent my NYE schlepping coats for extra money and wondering what a master’s degree means anymore. (There’s always the one who lost her coat check number and tells us, “It’s black. With fur trim.” There’s 150 coats in the basement and you just described 67 of them.)

But after actually a great night post coat checking, I woke up a little tired and a bit cham-pained (see what I did there?), and went to meet my (guy) friend for brunch.

My friends Kito & Zac have adorable traditions they do for the holidays every year. They spend New Year’s Day watching The Wizard of Oz. (I love them even more for this.) When I read this list, I felt a pang of jealousy. I want that, I want holiday traditions with my lovely partner. I love this.

At our brunch, my friend and I caught up and discussed our lackluster dating lives, how he hits on women on match.com by giving them a list of comedians and asking them which they identify with most (this killed me!), and about the worst date ever I just had last weekend (he ordered a long island with grenadine). And we also discussed on this New Year’s Day that maybe 2015 will be the year. The year we lock it down. The year we find the person we may spend the rest of our lives with.

And we also talked about the real possibility that we may actually die alone. Another year here, another year without finding “the one”. This year, we’ll be turning 33 and 35, respectively, and neither of us imagined having single gal/guy pal brunch on New Year’s Day. We imagined the holiday traditions like Kito and Zac.

We discussed how this possibility is terrifying. How we have to have conversations in our heads to come to terms with this. About how we think about the ones who got away. About how we may never share a bed permanently (also, I hate the idea of sharing a bed, like, forever).

But the more I’ve considered this real possibility today, I’ve thought about how lucky I am to have a friend like this. How love means so many things, how I can have a friend who agrees to meet me at 2pm instead of noon so I can lay back down after taking an Advil. So maybe we’ll be perpetual bachelor/bachelorettes, become crazy dog people and never share a bed, but at least we’ll have each other.

Best wishes this year and happy 2015!

-Melinda

Varietals of Holiday Texts I Received Today

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1 weird .gif from this one.

1 very nice message from a guy who friend-zoned me after admitting my unrequited feelings

1 generic Merry Christmas message from a random ex I haven’t communicated with since his last text on Thanksgiving, wishing me another generic holiday message.

8 streamed Christmas emoji messages in a row from a dude I simply have listed as “Jay” in my phone. Jay, have we ever been on a date? Did we ever meet?

1 from the 22 year old I was dating for awhile this fall who usually just sends me frowny faces or “I’m thinking about you” messages but hasn’t asked me on an actual date since September.

1 holiday wish from one who has been making dates with me and then bailing on all of them for the last 9 months and then who later confessed to me he’s interested in being a swinger.

Not that I don’t appreciate the happy holidays and the merry Christmases, but my best friend doesn’t send me a generic text on Christmas. My family doesn’t send me streams of Christmas emojis. What makes ex boyfriends/generic men of my life seem to think it’s a good time to get in touch?

So Christmas makes it an easy excuse for contact? Of course no one will complain that you crafted that mass text message to all the hoes listed in your contacts, because, awwwww, you thought of me. You find all the single childless women you want to put your candy cane in and hope one will get busy with you under the tree this year? Well I’m calling some bullshit. This is some damned e-maintenance wrapped up in a big crappy emoji Christmas bow and good wishes.

Guess what? You want to get in on some holiday action with me? GIVE ME A DAMNED PRESENT. Not because I need or want presents, but that’s what you would do if we were actually dating. Maybe contact me the day after Christmas, even next week. Ask how I’m celebrating, ask what Santa brought me. Call me, for the love of Jesus and the manger.

Just don’t expect to fawn all over myself because you were just so thoughtful to think of me during this holiday season, because emojis are not impressive dude.

Merry Christmas, y’all.

-Melinda

P.S. a very nice guy I haven’t actually met yet actually phoned me last night to talk and to say Merry Christmas. I was so taken aback, I about peed my pants. And then, he made a DATE. Time and place and all. So I guess Christmas miracles are possible.

Unplug and Look Up – JWReese

I almost got hit by a car today because I was trying to update my Facebook status while walking. Knowing it was pretty much my fault I just kinda sped up and avoided eye contact with the probably irritated driver. This incident, while minor, made me question how many other things I’m missing because of my phone… my distraction… my way to avoid eye contact when I’m nervous.

How many times have I been too into my phone to realize that someone is trying to get my attention or actually hit on me? I know this might be a pretty clumsy metaphor (hit by a car… hit on by someone) but still think about it. How often have I been too worried about updating my Facebook status that I missed the opportunity to change my relationship status? Smart phones and social media have made me very available in many ways, but at the same time so incredibly distant from even the person I’m sitting right next to.

At this point the classic romantic scene of kissing in the rain doesn’t even exist because you would get a weather alert on your phone before that could even happen. I am in no way saying I am desperately looking for a mate. I am a firm believer that when you least expect it you will meet someone who will suddenly be perfect for you at that moment in both of your lives. I am however saying that unless I unplug and look up every now and then how will I even know who is looking back?

JWReese

Awkward – An Introduction to Reese

I am awkward as ass. It’s a known fact. However if you know me you probably don’t think so: because. you. know. me.  When I meet new people I am confused and try desperately to find a common ground to stand on while I try to start conversation.  It usually consists of “how do you know ‘so and so’” or “oh, i like your outfit where did you get it?” It’s reality and I’m ok with it.

The true reality of things is I that I am so perpetually single lately and honestly a hopeless romantic at heart that I see most things as opportunity… movie-like opportunity.  I randomly meet guys and think oh this could be a cute story.  I avoid eye contact when I meet someone I think could be cute and fun to hang out with.  I picture myself eventually pushing the curls out of my eyes and looking up at who I am talking to only to see someone looking back at me just as awkwardly as I am.  One can only hope.

Let it be known that I am not hard on myself and truly do not see myself as #unDateable as I so often claim.  For, that is a joke and I am aware that no one is truly UnDateable, but we all do things that we may see within ourselves as unsavory when given the opportunity to be with the right person… or really the wrong person…. we all have to learn.

The point of this whole long-winded diatribe is that there is someone for everyone.  I know this.  You know this (whoever you are that happens upon this) And eventually things work out the way they are supposed to.  I joke that I will never find anyone again, or anyone who “gets” my work and my sense of humor… but that is not fair because I have a very small criteria for those who date me.  Get along with my friends, and make me laugh.  Other than that I have nothing.  The minute you start to focus on sexual proclivity, race, build, or height you loose the true meaning of love.  I never want to lose that or become so jaded that I no longer can look beyond superficial attributes.  We are all missing a piece. A piece we eventually find and fit perfectly with.  It just takes time to change your shape to make things fit the way you never expected they ever possibly could.

How I Discovered My Sexuality

Read aloud this at Salonathon a few weeks back! The theme was “How I Discovered My Sexuality”. Here’s my story. Thanks, as always, to Jane and Will for having me!

(Please turn on this song and listen while you read this essay. I promise it will be even better.)

Jesus is the reason.

He’s the reason I discovered my sexuality.

It’s October 1996 and we’re on the dance floor at Clinton High School homecoming. “Come on ride the train” by the Quad City DJs is booming through the loudspeakers and I can feel his boner on my leg as we train danced our 14 and 15 year old bodies. I am awkwardly taller though wearing flats and a bit too little, little black dress. My Sun In blonde hair is cut in awkward bangs, resembling a bad version of Drew Barrymore’s in Scream. He is wearing all black, except for his black tie which has green alien heads patterned across it. This is the scene of my very first kiss with a boy.

Well. so maybe it wasn’t Jesus, him directly, but he was the reason that a bunch of high school adolescents got together in the woods for a week every summer. Along with Jesus, came a cesspool of hormones and teenage love and angst. I was much more interested in the teenage love and hormones than Jesus, and hence why I met Will*.

Have you ever seen that documentary, Jesus Camp?  Yeah, that’s pretty much where I met him, just the summer before. Things like crying and testimonies by the humongous wooden cross and more crying and weeping by the campfire and Christian rock music and Michael W. Smith were common place. Blech. Oh except this was far superior to regular Jesus camp, because I went to Jesus SHOW CHOIR camp. I spent a week every summer not only praising Jesus, but learning songs and choreography to perform in front of our parents at the final show. You haven’t lived until you’ve done a song and dance routine with an umbrella singing about Noah and the flood.

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(Me at Jesus Camp. I have been crying.)

Will was blonde, blue eyed and angelic looking. His dad was the Jesus show choir camp director. Will was in a Christian band named Justify. With a cross instead of the T, ya know, for Jesus— JUStIFY. Obviously, I was smitten. I’m not sure how you become camp boyfriend/girlfriends within a few days, but by Wednesday, he was mine.

I even documented it in my journal.

Wednesday, July 24, 1996

Dear Journal, I am at camp. It has been so fun. I have a boyfriend. His name is Will. I think I’m falling in love. I don’t want to go back to Danville. Will is one of the sweetest guys. He is so special to me. I feel so good in his strong arms. I love the warmth of his body heat.

I digress, so here we are back at the Clinton High homecoming, “If you feel like dancing, come on, it’s up to you…” Finally, after months of waiting, he kisses me, “We got the sound to keep you gettin’ downtown…” It’s just as magical I pictured it. I may have to lean in a bit more than he to lock lips, him and my identical blond hair probably touching as the lyrics boom, “The train is coming through.” (There’s a special dance move you should definitely learn if you don’t it already.) I’m not sure I knew what a boner was in my 14 year old jesus camp heart, but I sure found out during this moment. We continue train dancing for the entire 7 minute song, with his 15 year old penis tenting up in his pants, resting on my leg, my ass, and poking me through his pants through the entire dance.

After the dance, we go back to his parents’ house to watch a movie, but, instead, make out, strengthening my virgin lips for two hours. Jesus kept the make out session to PG.

Don’t worry, this was also fully documented in my journal:

We got home and changed, then Will put in the movie The Birdcage. We watched it for like three minutes. Then we started making out. I don’t think we stopped for more than 30 seconds for the whole 2 hours that the movie was playing. I miss his sweet kisses so much. I miss feelings his arms around me. I miss the sound of voice. I miss his smile and his laugh and the touch of his hand and fingers intertwined with mine. I miss his wonderful blue eyes. I miss every little thing about him. I love him with all of my heart, soul, and body.

We’d go to many more dances together, my homecoming a few weeks later, the Sweetheart Dance, Sadie Hawkins, where for some unknown reason, my high school made us wear matching outfits. We wore cloned baby blue Fender guitar t-shirts I purchased at Sam Goody and sitting in the basement cafeteria, he put his hand up the cotton of mine to touch my bra for the first time. I’m sure Jesus did not approve.

We moved slowly, thanks to Jesus. That spring, we both went to a Christian youth conference, where again, teenagers praising Jesus were packed into a hotel room for a weekend. This was my first time touching a penis, of course, in the hotel hot tub.

We broke up not long after that. Soon after, I lost my virginity to an atheist.

Ironically, I got fired from that same Jesus camp four years later for making out with my co-counselor named Buddy**. Buddy was the doppelganger of Freddie Prinze Jr. We kept in touch and later, in college, Buddy went to Africa to save children at orphanages while I spent my time saving beers at Kam’s in Champaign. He became a missionary and minister, while I write risque dating essays.

I’ve lost of my love for Jesus and since discovered my love for telling stories about my dating life.

-Melinda

*Name has been changed.

**Name has not been changed, because seriously, his name was Buddy for the love of Jesus.

Being Single is Okay, Great, and Even Powerful

So as I mentioned in my last post I’m single again. I’ve had some conversations with some people about what happened. But what it comes down to, is that I know I’m happy being single, and if I’m not happy with a man, there is only so much work that can be done before I go back to living a single and fulfilled life, rather than a stressful coupled one.

Part of the reason I’ve been writing about being single, solo, and dating, for all of these years is because I’ve always wanted to help others celebrate and normalize that being solo and unpartnered is not only okay and fine, it’s pretty awesome. I grew up in a place where people get married at 22. While I try not to judge, if you get married at 22, that’s you’re own decision, it’s like if you’re not married by 25, you’re unlovable. And being childless at 32? Oh dear god, I’m sure the whole town is still shaking their heads whenever I visit.

I spent my high school and college years in very serious long term relationships, because mostly that’s what I thought I needed to do. While certainly, neither was physically abusive, I certainly stayed in both my high school and college relationships much too long. I felt suffocated, controlled, and unhappy. My college relationship was a disaster, and I spent the better part of 4 years figuring it out. It’s the biggest regret I have in my life— staying too long and not learning to be happy being single.

And now I’m single again. He banked on the fact I’d stay. He’s a great person, but just never learned to be a great boyfriend or partner, and that’s what I’m looking for. He banked on the fact that once you’re in a relationship, you should stay in one, and I have different ideas.

“I need a partner who wants to come pick me up after I’ve been gone for a week. Who remembers my bday. Who comes to see me when I’m in the ER. I have to stop pretending someday that this will be you. Because it’s not.” This was my breakup text to him.

I write all this today to hopefully continue the normalization and conversation of encouraging you to not stay in relationships when you aren’t happy. That could mean so many things. I don’t claim to know what it’s like to be physically abused, dependent on someone, share children with someone, and I certainly understand those things create complications, but please remember, don’t stay with anyone you’re not happy with. Work hard at making it work, sure, don’t just give up every time things are difficult, but please do not stay with someone, especially someone who is mentally or physically abusive. I promise you will be okay. I promise.

Of course you all saw the Ray and Janay Rice video, and you probably heard about her defending him. This upsets me to the core of my being. I don’t attempt to put Janay down, or understand, but please, if you’re in a bad relationship, get out. Just get out. Live your life solo and safe.

-Melinda