Category «Melinda»

How to Apply Eye Cream for Dark Circles?

The skin around your eyes is thinner and more delicate than the rest of your face, so this is typically where you’ll see indications of aging. It also suggests you need to pay special care and attention when utilizing a best Japanese eye cream.

What Active ingredients to Try to find in Your Eye Cream

Eye creams can help in reducing puffiness and crow’s feet, cheer up dark circles and make your face look more youthful and more awake. Some solutions are developed to deal with among these issues, while others are do-it-all items.

How to Use Your Eye Cream

Use a pea-size quantity on your ring finger.

Use small dots from the inner corner beneath your eye to your eyebrow bone.

To use, begin at the inner corner beneath your eye, using small dots in a semi-circle as much as your eyebrow bone. Carefully tap because semi-circle pattern to promote circulation up until the item is totally soaked up. Make certain not to pull or extend the skin while you’re doing this.

Keep in mind: Do not get too near your eye to prevent inflammation. Unless the item label directs you to, prevent using on or near your eyelids.

Wait before using concealer.

After using your eye cream, wait about 90 seconds before using concealer or other skin care items to provide it time to completely soak up.

How to Apply Eye Cream for Dark Circles?

More Tips on How to Use Your Eye Cream

For best results, use your eye cream early morning and night. Some people choose to use it throughout the day to make their concealer look much better; others choose utilizing it in the evening. When it comes to how this action fits within your regimen, you’ll wish to use your eye cream after cleaning and toning and before your moisturizer or night cream.

Pick the correct time

Some eye creams are made particularly to use during the night. They are normally thicker, and may have anti-aging active ingredients. Use your eye cream a minimum of 15 minutes before going to bed.

It is necessary to enable your skin time to soak up the cream. Otherwise, it might encounter your eyes when you rest. You also do not want it to rub off on your pillow.

If you are particularly concerned about the skin around your eyes, you may also wish to use an early morning eye cream. Enable it to set for 15 minutes after application before using makeup.

Attempt some samples

Eye creams can be rather pricey. You may balk at the rate, particularly for something that is available in such a small container. Before dedicating to an item, think about attempting some different options.

The addition of vitamins will not just lighten dark circles however will also offer the skin in your eye area a fresher, much healthier look. Another reliable component that can be consisted of in an eye cream is caffeine which minimizes puffiness in the eye.

Anti-aging skin care items include those used on the whole skin surface. Your whole body will take advantage of using a body cream. The tone and texture of your skin can be enhanced through using fantastic anti-aging skin care items such as hypoallergenic body cream, which will also hydrate dry, flaky skin without blocking your pores.

A Great Toner Assists in Altering the Dry Texture of the Skin

The period of the favorable impact of a toner also depends upon the kind of skin. As an outcome, the skin problem progresses and it is less susceptible to breakouts.

With your buying options, you can buy online for eye items which will enable you to check out other individuals’s evaluations relating to the item. You may also decide to buy your eye cream in your closest pharmacy, however you may just be limited to the sales girl’s or pharmacist’s viewpoints.

Hence, it is always a great concept to do some research online to know which items have been favorably evaluated by others, or even better, seek advice from a skin specialist and let him or her recommend you an eye cream best for your needs.

Do your research. Many publications and sites use pointers on which eye creams are most reliable. Start trying to find ones that intrigue you.

Check out a store. Many outlet store enjoy to provide samples of their skin care items. Approach numerous cosmetic counters and ask if they use this service.

Conclusion

Keep in mind that eye creams can take a couple of weeks to really start enhancing your skin. By attempting samples, you can at least find one with a texture and feel that you like.

Lady Dates

Tonight I am going on a date with a woman. She is lovely and smart. This is not the first lady date I’ve had and certainly won’t be the last.

I haven’t talked about it all on the blog at all. (If you’ve heard me read, I’ve told the story about the first woman I dated briefly.) I never kissed a woman until I was 30 and didn’t really have much interest to until now. When I started the blog 3 years ago, I certainly wasn’t dating women. But I now want to be clear that my writing about my dating life will not only be dudes.

So I suppose the slap a label term on me is bisexual. I don’t really like this term as it implies half and half, and most of my dating and sex life has all involved men with a few exceptions. I’m a big believer in the Kinsey scale and the Idea that sexuality is fluid. I’m not making excuses, but I’m more attracted to men than I am women, but I’m exploring that some more.

I don’t see myself in a long term relationship with a woman, just like I don’t foresee long term relationships with many (well most) of the men I date. But really who knows? Love is pretty blind and I think I will probably fall in love and end up with a man, but I suppose I’m open to it.

Sexuality is an odd thing, ever changing in ones’ life. This all feels pretty new to me. People talk about knowing they’re gay at age 4. I didn’t know I was somewhat attracted to women until I turned 30.

So I asked her out and chose the date, place, and time (I take my own advice!). I’m looking forward to it, but admittedly am a bit nervous. There are all these rules for what the guy does (pays the check, opens the door) and what the girl is supposed to do (offer to pay the check and say thank you when he says no), but there are no rules for girl dates! No rules! My brain and how I think about dating is completely heterosexist.

So I plan on just having nice dinner and conversation with a smart and beautiful lady.

-Melinda

Happy 2015! Let’s Hope I Don’t Die Alone!

Happy 2015!

I hope your New Year’s celebrations were great. I spent my NYE schlepping coats for extra money and wondering what a master’s degree means anymore. (There’s always the one who lost her coat check number and tells us, “It’s black. With fur trim.” There’s 150 coats in the basement and you just described 67 of them.)

But after actually a great night post coat checking, I woke up a little tired and a bit cham-pained (see what I did there?), and went to meet my (guy) friend for brunch.

My friends Kito & Zac have adorable traditions they do for the holidays every year. They spend New Year’s Day watching The Wizard of Oz. (I love them even more for this.) When I read this list, I felt a pang of jealousy. I want that, I want holiday traditions with my lovely partner. I love this.

At our brunch, my friend and I caught up and discussed our lackluster dating lives, how he hits on women on match.com by giving them a list of comedians and asking them which they identify with most (this killed me!), and about the worst date ever I just had last weekend (he ordered a long island with grenadine). And we also discussed on this New Year’s Day that maybe 2015 will be the year. The year we lock it down. The year we find the person we may spend the rest of our lives with.

And we also talked about the real possibility that we may actually die alone. Another year here, another year without finding “the one”. This year, we’ll be turning 33 and 35, respectively, and neither of us imagined having single gal/guy pal brunch on New Year’s Day. We imagined the holiday traditions like Kito and Zac.

We discussed how this possibility is terrifying. How we have to have conversations in our heads to come to terms with this. About how we think about the ones who got away. About how we may never share a bed permanently (also, I hate the idea of sharing a bed, like, forever).

But the more I’ve considered this real possibility today, I’ve thought about how lucky I am to have a friend like this. How love means so many things, how I can have a friend who agrees to meet me at 2pm instead of noon so I can lay back down after taking an Advil. So maybe we’ll be perpetual bachelor/bachelorettes, become crazy dog people and never share a bed, but at least we’ll have each other.

Best wishes this year and happy 2015!

-Melinda

Varietals of Holiday Texts I Received Today

Varietals of Holiday Texts I Received Today

1 weird .gif from this one.

1 very nice message from a guy who friend-zoned me after admitting my unrequited feelings

1 generic Merry Christmas message from a random ex I haven’t communicated with since his last text on Thanksgiving, wishing me another generic holiday message.

8 streamed Christmas emoji messages in a row from a dude I simply have listed as “Jay” in my phone. Jay, have we ever been on a date? Did we ever meet?

1 from the 22 year old I was dating for awhile this fall who usually just sends me frowny faces or “I’m thinking about you” messages but hasn’t asked me on an actual date since September.

1 holiday wish from one who has been making dates with me and then bailing on all of them for the last 9 months and then who later confessed to me he’s interested in being a swinger.

Not that I don’t appreciate the happy holidays and the merry Christmases, but my best friend doesn’t send me a generic text on Christmas. My family doesn’t send me streams of Christmas emojis. What makes ex boyfriends/generic men of my life seem to think it’s a good time to get in touch?

So Christmas makes it an easy excuse for contact? Of course no one will complain that you crafted that mass text message to all the hoes listed in your contacts, because, awwwww, you thought of me. You find all the single childless women you want to put your candy cane in and hope one will get busy with you under the tree this year? Well I’m calling some bullshit. This is some damned e-maintenance wrapped up in a big crappy emoji Christmas bow and good wishes.

Guess what? You want to get in on some holiday action with me? GIVE ME A DAMNED PRESENT. Not because I need or want presents, but that’s what you would do if we were actually dating. Maybe contact me the day after Christmas, even next week. Ask how I’m celebrating, ask what Santa brought me. Call me, for the love of Jesus and the manger.

Just don’t expect to fawn all over myself because you were just so thoughtful to think of me during this holiday season, because emojis are not impressive dude.

Merry Christmas, y’all.

-Melinda

P.S. a very nice guy I haven’t actually met yet actually phoned me last night to talk and to say Merry Christmas. I was so taken aback, I about peed my pants. And then, he made a DATE. Time and place and all. So I guess Christmas miracles are possible.

How I Discovered My Sexuality

Read aloud this at Salonathon a few weeks back! The theme was “How I Discovered My Sexuality”. Here’s my story. Thanks, as always, to Jane and Will for having me!

(Please turn on this song and listen while you read this essay. I promise it will be even better.)

Jesus is the reason.

He’s the reason I discovered my sexuality.

It’s October 1996 and we’re on the dance floor at Clinton High School homecoming. “Come on ride the train” by the Quad City DJs is booming through the loudspeakers and I can feel his boner on my leg as we train danced our 14 and 15 year old bodies. I am awkwardly taller though wearing flats and a bit too little, little black dress. My Sun In blonde hair is cut in awkward bangs, resembling a bad version of Drew Barrymore’s in Scream. He is wearing all black, except for his black tie which has green alien heads patterned across it. This is the scene of my very first kiss with a boy.

Well. so maybe it wasn’t Jesus, him directly, but he was the reason that a bunch of high school adolescents got together in the woods for a week every summer. Along with Jesus, came a cesspool of hormones and teenage love and angst. I was much more interested in the teenage love and hormones than Jesus, and hence why I met Will*.

Have you ever seen that documentary, Jesus Camp?  Yeah, that’s pretty much where I met him, just the summer before. Things like crying and testimonies by the humongous wooden cross and more crying and weeping by the campfire and Christian rock music and Michael W. Smith were common place. Blech. Oh except this was far superior to regular Jesus camp, because I went to Jesus SHOW CHOIR camp. I spent a week every summer not only praising Jesus, but learning songs and choreography to perform in front of our parents at the final show. You haven’t lived until you’ve done a song and dance routine with an umbrella singing about Noah and the flood.

How I Discovered My Sexuality

(Me at Jesus Camp. I have been crying.)

Will was blonde, blue eyed and angelic looking. His dad was the Jesus show choir camp director. Will was in a Christian band named Justify. With a cross instead of the T, ya know, for Jesus— JUStIFY. Obviously, I was smitten. I’m not sure how you become camp boyfriend/girlfriends within a few days, but by Wednesday, he was mine.

I even documented it in my journal.

Wednesday, July 24, 1996

Dear Journal, I am at camp. It has been so fun. I have a boyfriend. His name is Will. I think I’m falling in love. I don’t want to go back to Danville. Will is one of the sweetest guys. He is so special to me. I feel so good in his strong arms. I love the warmth of his body heat.

I digress, so here we are back at the Clinton High homecoming, “If you feel like dancing, come on, it’s up to you…” Finally, after months of waiting, he kisses me, “We got the sound to keep you gettin’ downtown…” It’s just as magical I pictured it. I may have to lean in a bit more than he to lock lips, him and my identical blond hair probably touching as the lyrics boom, “The train is coming through.” (There’s a special dance move you should definitely learn if you don’t it already.) I’m not sure I knew what a boner was in my 14 year old jesus camp heart, but I sure found out during this moment. We continue train dancing for the entire 7 minute song, with his 15 year old penis tenting up in his pants, resting on my leg, my ass, and poking me through his pants through the entire dance.

After the dance, we go back to his parents’ house to watch a movie, but, instead, make out, strengthening my virgin lips for two hours. Jesus kept the make out session to PG.

Don’t worry, this was also fully documented in my journal:

We got home and changed, then Will put in the movie The Birdcage. We watched it for like three minutes. Then we started making out. I don’t think we stopped for more than 30 seconds for the whole 2 hours that the movie was playing. I miss his sweet kisses so much. I miss feelings his arms around me. I miss the sound of voice. I miss his smile and his laugh and the touch of his hand and fingers intertwined with mine. I miss his wonderful blue eyes. I miss every little thing about him. I love him with all of my heart, soul, and body.

We’d go to many more dances together, my homecoming a few weeks later, the Sweetheart Dance, Sadie Hawkins, where for some unknown reason, my high school made us wear matching outfits. We wore cloned baby blue Fender guitar t-shirts I purchased at Sam Goody and sitting in the basement cafeteria, he put his hand up the cotton of mine to touch my bra for the first time. I’m sure Jesus did not approve.

We moved slowly, thanks to Jesus. That spring, we both went to a Christian youth conference, where again, teenagers praising Jesus were packed into a hotel room for a weekend. This was my first time touching a penis, of course, in the hotel hot tub.

We broke up not long after that. Soon after, I lost my virginity to an atheist.

Ironically, I got fired from that same Jesus camp four years later for making out with my co-counselor named Buddy**. Buddy was the doppelganger of Freddie Prinze Jr. We kept in touch and later, in college, Buddy went to Africa to save children at orphanages while I spent my time saving beers at Kam’s in Champaign. He became a missionary and minister, while I write risque dating essays.

I’ve lost of my love for Jesus and since discovered my love for telling stories about my dating life.

-Melinda

*Name has been changed.

**Name has not been changed, because seriously, his name was Buddy for the love of Jesus.

Being Single is Okay, Great, and Even Powerful

So as I mentioned in my last post I’m single again. I’ve had some conversations with some people about what happened. But what it comes down to, is that I know I’m happy being single, and if I’m not happy with a man, there is only so much work that can be done before I go back to living a single and fulfilled life, rather than a stressful coupled one.

Part of the reason I’ve been writing about being single, solo, and dating, for all of these years is because I’ve always wanted to help others celebrate and normalize that being solo and unpartnered is not only okay and fine, it’s pretty awesome. I grew up in a place where people get married at 22. While I try not to judge, if you get married at 22, that’s you’re own decision, it’s like if you’re not married by 25, you’re unlovable. And being childless at 32? Oh dear god, I’m sure the whole town is still shaking their heads whenever I visit.

I spent my high school and college years in very serious long term relationships, because mostly that’s what I thought I needed to do. While certainly, neither was physically abusive, I certainly stayed in both my high school and college relationships much too long. I felt suffocated, controlled, and unhappy. My college relationship was a disaster, and I spent the better part of 4 years figuring it out. It’s the biggest regret I have in my life— staying too long and not learning to be happy being single.

And now I’m single again. He banked on the fact I’d stay. He’s a great person, but just never learned to be a great boyfriend or partner, and that’s what I’m looking for. He banked on the fact that once you’re in a relationship, you should stay in one, and I have different ideas.

“I need a partner who wants to come pick me up after I’ve been gone for a week. Who remembers my bday. Who comes to see me when I’m in the ER. I have to stop pretending someday that this will be you. Because it’s not.” This was my breakup text to him.

I write all this today to hopefully continue the normalization and conversation of encouraging you to not stay in relationships when you aren’t happy. That could mean so many things. I don’t claim to know what it’s like to be physically abused, dependent on someone, share children with someone, and I certainly understand those things create complications, but please remember, don’t stay with anyone you’re not happy with. Work hard at making it work, sure, don’t just give up every time things are difficult, but please do not stay with someone, especially someone who is mentally or physically abusive. I promise you will be okay. I promise.

Of course you all saw the Ray and Janay Rice video, and you probably heard about her defending him. This upsets me to the core of my being. I don’t attempt to put Janay down, or understand, but please, if you’re in a bad relationship, get out. Just get out. Live your life solo and safe.

-Melinda

Well you’re like WAY into Black guys

Well you’re like WAY into Black guys

“Well you’re like way into Black guys.”

Wait? What? I mean, sure I have dated mostly Black men in the last, well, 10 years. But this statement, what exactly are you implying?

The gist: “You’re single and haven’t found the one yet, settled down, �?cause you’re into Black men.”

I’ve heard it all.

Black men don’t like women who are overly sexual.
Black men don’t want to commit.
Black men don’t have good jobs.
Black men will date White women but not bring them home to mom.
Black men don’t like women who are more successful.
Etc., etc., etc.

I have written for the last 5 years about dating, sex, relationships (right here of course and before that at the now defunct singledoutinchicago.com). In that time, I have never overtly written about interracial relationships or the fact that most of the stars of my dating stories were Black men. But I’m doing it now, dammit.

The primary reason I’ve been in the closet about interracial dating is because I write about the challenges, the struggle, and usually not so happy endings of dating. And I never wanted my readership to declare these stories only happened because the dudes that usually ask for my number tend to be African American. And while my friends know and have met many of the men I’ve dated, and I’ve certainly implied in many of my stories, I have always strayed away from the topic of interracial dating, because that was never the point. Because we all know when two people of the same race get together there are never issues or problems (eye roll).

I didn’t make a conscious decision, and still don’t, to have a racial preference in dating. All I know is that when I started dating post college, that’s simply who talked, interacted, and did things like say hello and ask for my number. I look at the simple statistics of my OkCupid messages received from men, in which nowhere in my profile is there mention of any sort of history or who I want to be with based on skin color, and Black men are 90% of who sent me messages. (OkCupid shows some data on this.) That’s just simply who has shown interest and I’ve always been cool with that.

Do I think I subconsciously have made this decision? Sure. At a certain point we all get comfortable (probably too comfortable) with a type. Mine happens to be tall, hipstery dudes donning plaid shirts, tortoise shell glasses, and Black. When I walk into a crowded bar or scan profiles of matches, this is who I notice first.

And sure I can tell you I’ve dated all races of men, blah, blah, blah which I certainly have, but I don’t want to pretend that I don’t have a type and tell people “I don’t see color,” because I do. I just saw Taye Diggs on Seth Meyers and contemplated him naked. Idris Elba is the star of my wet dreams and I picture my future biracial children quite often.

So I may be “way into Black guys” as my half-Black ex said to me, but dude, Black men are way into me. Just like people tell me all the statements about why I am approaching 32 and single because I date Black men, they all tell me opinions on why they’re all about me. I am curvy: “You have an ass.” I have a pixie haircut: “Black men like short hair.” I am tall: “Black men like tall women.” Most of the reasons are physical, none ever having to do with the fact that I am bright, intelligent, grounded, successful, polite, caring, and sincere.

And many people imply I’m “way into a Black guys” thanks to a fetishization and over sexualized physical stereotype (in case you’re considering what I mean here— that Black dudes are well endowed). Damn people, if that’s all I was looking for, I’d just go to a sex toy shop. That’s what dildos are for.

Recently there was a Gawker piece about the realities of interracial dating written by a Black dude. Just like any personal opinion piece, there were a variety of reactions to it. One I read stating “Nobody cares that you date White girls.”

But we do. Until 1967, if I fell in love with a Black man in many states we wouldn’t have been able to get married. The story and legacy of Emmett Till is much too fresh and recent to just pretend we’re living in a post racial place where interracial relationships, the biracial children they at many times produce, and the racism, both subtle and inherent, don’t exist. I mean damn, just last year there were so many racist comments on YouTube about that Cheerios commercial that the comments had to be turned off.

It’s okay to talk about culture and our identities and how it affects all aspects of our lives- dating, sex, relationships, and otherwise- as long as we can understand the micro and macro effects and we don’t make sweeping generalizations about a community or race or people.

So yes, my boyfriend is Black. Yes, I am in an interracial relationship. Yes, I’m going to talk about it.

-Melinda

DISAGREED: Anti-Tinder Tries to Solve Online Dating’s Creepiness Problem

You may have seen this article today in the Huffington Post Tech about the new dating app, Hinge. Well, new to Chicago, and that means new to me. Hinge sends you 6 matches a day, based on your larger social media network. So you’re connected to friends of friends who have also signed up for the app.

I’ve been a Hinge user for a few months. I don’t check it all the time, I only have the app on my iPad, and last night I signed on in to look at my daily matches.

So turns out Hinge is actually the creepiest goddamned dating app I’ve ever used.

Because…

It matched me with a kid I used to babysit in 1996.

DISAGREED: Anti-Tinder Tries to Solve Online Dating’s Creepiness Problem

A few notes on that point.

A) I’m not from Chicago. I grew up 3 hours south in a small town. There are maybe 30 people in the city from my hometown. This kid and I grew up a block away from each other. My mother has known his mother since like 1989 when she was pregnant with this kid.

B) My first… serious boyfriend… (first. serious. boyfriend. Get it?) is his cousin. They share the same last name.

So Hinge brings to me the people I know, attempting to be anti-creepy, but actually provides maybe the creepiest match I’ve ever gotten.

AND thus provides the story of my dating life.

[drops mic]

Melinda

The Less Than 36 Hour Relationship

This is how a get together, relationship, and breakup occurred within less than 36 hours.

Sunday, 4:09 PM

Browse through Tinder. Swipe right on a 24 year old, 7 years your junior, because against my better judgement, well, he’s cute. Tada! You match.

4:15 PM

Cute kid sends a message. I insist he’s too young, he disagrees.

4:15 – 8:30 PM

Send witty Tinder messages. Exchange numbers. Send witty text messages.

8:31 PM

“Hey it’s D—. It too late to meet up tonight?” Says he’ll be there to pick me up in 30 minutes. Arrives early, am half naked. Throw on some random outfit and run outside to his car in the rain. Head to neighborhood hotspot.

10:00 PM

2 drinks in. Cuter than ever. Discuss music, politics, school, career. Bat eyes in the booth.

12:05 AM

Drives me home. Kisses me in the car. Invites himself in.

1:21 AM

Departs back to the North side.

Monday, 9:29 AM

Receive text message referring to last night’s conversation.

9:52 AM

Add him on gchat.

10:15 AM

Gchat friend about the kid. Explain how he has his shit together more than last ex, though is only 24 years old. Friend reminds me having his shit together more than your last ex isn’t a difficult feat. Ah yes.

10:15 AM – 5:05 PM

Spend day communicating, exchanging music recommendations, sending witty gchats. Looking at his public photos on Facebook, Googling his name.

7:22 PM

Text messages:

D: I know you’re interested in me.

Me: You do huh?

8:47 – 9:41 PM

Launch texting debate/argument about empathy, social justice, and social issues. Get turned off by young Republican propaganda. Stop texting.

11:02 PM

Text message inviting me over. Consider it, but remember parking in his yuppy neighborhood is impossible.

11:07 PM

Reconsider and inquire about his stock in prophylactics.

11:07-11:31 PM

Have argument about using prophylactics. Get accused of having an STI for insisting on using prophylactics.

11:31 PM

Receive the following text message referring to opinion on safe sex:

“That’s the gayest shit I’ve ever heard in my life.”

11:32 PM

Explain that it’s actually the straightest conversation as there was discussion of heterosexual sex.

12:03 AM

Text: “That frat boy persona you got going on is not cute.” Block from Tinder and Google Voice. Go to sleep.

Note to self: Do not date 24 year olds and/or Republicans. 

-Melinda

P.S. We had the whole “where is this going” chat at about hour 20.

I Have Enough Platonic Friends

I Have Enough Platonic Friends

So this happened today.

I was set to have drinks tonight with a dude from a few years back. He’s popped up now and again. I was actually supposed to meet up with him the day I met the last dude I was dating, but he stood me up. I was pissed, starting dating the last one, and didn’t talk to him again.

But of course now I’m single. So I went for it, Bold Moves, and asked him out. He said yes, lovely, wonderful, we make plans.

Then at 5 pm he texts me this.

I am not interested in forgetting that point. The last exchange we had was relatively in depth about things he was interested in doing, and not just having a martini.

I didn’t respond to him suggesting to forget that point.

For years now, I have stayed friends, sometimes lovers, and drinking buddies with tons of dudes I’ve dated. For the most part, it’s been great. But it’s starting to grate on me.

I see Instagram photos of a dude I dated three times with his new girlfriend at fancy restaurants where he never took me, just a few weeks after he told me I’m the “best he ever had” (duh). I ran into another ex who was on a date at the bar where I work, the same one who a week earlier looked me up and down so hard it made my coworker about spit out her beer. I met up for drinks with one who broke my heart and who was moving out of town, only for him to ask me to come visit him in Michigan.

But never, ever, do these dudes ask me on a proper date.

And it’s my own fault. Because I keep them in my life, mostly for good reasons, but it doesn’t contribute to moving on and trying to find someone and something meaningful. These platonic, now-friends-ex-dudes, hit on me, call me when they’re lonely, and see me as their hot, sexy, cool, ex, but not someone they’re interested in actually dating or being in a relationship with.

And I’m not adding another one.

Instead, tonight, I’m going out with my dude friend who is not an ex boyfriend or anything of the sort. We’re gonna drink whiskey and I’m going to tell him about the aforementioned guy above and I’ll be happy I’m hanging out with a friend who is actually a friend.

-Mel